Chapter 1

My heart plunged for the last time, and I hung up the phone. I had been crying for a while. My face was drenched in tears. I tried to clean my face and hoped that nobody saw me. I came out of the conference room, and walked towards my office. There was nobody in the hallway and I burst into tears again. Somehow I made it back to my cubicle. I don't remember what happened after that until I got out of the office building.

I wasn't crying anymore, but I was still collapsing from within. I got onto the ramp towards Dallas, like every other day. I saw the same billboard that was fixed at the entry to the freeway. They hadn't changed it for a while. It still showed some new designer brand that was being sold at the Macy's. The traffic was the same, too. As soon as I got on the freeway, I played the first and second gear game with the stop-and-go traffic. The evening was the same as every other evening. Nothing had changed. But I knew I had lost something. I had lost something I never wanted to. The dragon that I wanted to slay had slain me.

My hand would raise and my wrist would twist, as if I was asking a question. Then I smashed my hand on the passenger seat. I didn't know who to hit. The tears started flowing again, as I stood helpless in the face of the biggest fear of my life. For some reason, I saw nothing but pain in the days to come. I didn't want to go through this pain. It was hopeless.